You’re seeing a guy a lot, but you’re confused about your role and the situation.
He just wants to be a friend, he doesn’t want a serious relationship… For example, if you were the one who took the initiative, asked him out, called him first, sent him a really nice text, with the intent of making “things happen,” he will expect the same behavior from you in the future.
He doesn’t do much to make the relationship grow because he knows that you’re always there, you told him with every word and every gesture, so that he has started to take you for granted. And chances are it’s still up to you to make things happen, trying to go out to dinner together, making love to him. Asking him how he feels about you, hoping and wishing that he spends less time with his friends and in the office and more time with you.
You accept last-minute dates with him, or let him say goodbye first when you talk on the phone, and then you wonder why you feel so empty.
Just because you go to have sex with a man, spend the night at his house and go to dinner with him, you can’t be sure that you are his girlfriend. Men distinguish between having sex and having a relationship with a woman, two things that we girls usually do in parallel.
Some men are enough of an asshole to flirt with another girl in front of you and still expect you to have sex with him at the end of the night. If he tries it with another woman, it means that he doesn’t want a serious relationship with you.
There are small gestures to show his feelings, like moving his chair closer to yours, like caressing your back or holding your hand for a moment when you are with friends. When he doesn’t want a serious relationship, he is indifferent to these gestures, he doesn’t see you as his woman, but as someone available to sleep with him.
Try to think about whether he wants to spend time with you because he is interested or because he has nothing better to do. If he ignores your plans for the evening, he may only see you as someone who has sex with him.
In addition to making you feel like a nobody, this man in question is unreliable. If you press him with questions about your relationship, a man will often respond with, “I promised myself I would think about my career first.”
We women often think we are the ones who will change his mind. Never try to change a man to get more. After much research on male psychology, I have come to the conclusion that men never really change. Either you accept some of his flaws, or you find another. Of course, it all depends on how serious these flaws are.
A man never changes radically, and it would be absurd for you to expect that. If a man is cold and unloving during the courtship phase, it is quite likely that he will continue to do so after marriage. It is up to you to decide whether you are capable of living with a man like that. Whatever you decide to do, stay with him or leave him, avoid tormenting him, if you do not want to unleash his resentment.
Think carefully and seriously, but without wasting too much time. The world is full of men!
When he doesn’t want a serious relationship, he won’t hesitate to use the “I told you I didn’t want a serious relationship” card when you voice a complaint. Don’t date a man who tells you point-blank that he’s not looking for a serious relationship! Once a man has openly declared his desire to remain single, his indifference will eventually sap your spirits, especially if you had a fantastic night between his sheets.
It’s commitment that they shy away from, not love. It’s only when they start to feel obligated to accept your love that they reject it. As soon as you let a man know that he’s included in your plans for the future, his instinct tells him to run as far away as possible.
Maybe you’re thinking, “But I can’t get away from him, I want him too much…”. I know exactly how you feel, but there are other ways to fill the void in your life. Whenever you’re in love with a man more than he loves you, you put yourself in a vulnerable position. Starting to think about your life without him protects you from unnecessary suffering.
You don’t want to scare off a man you like before he’s ready to commit!
How do you do this? Don’t rush to reveal your anxiety about seeing him all the time. Let him believe that you only have limited intentions of seeing him again in the future. This strategy is called “don’t get too serious about him.” This doesn’t mean you should stop paying attention to the man you’re interested in, but rather that you shouldn’t make him feel too confident about your long-term intentions.
