We are a result of all experiences lived by us from past to present. Parents are our first mentors, the ones from who we learned many things, their example had a great mood upon our personality. Mother represents the first woman in the life of any man, influencing his point of view about women. This relation offers to him the possibility to live a large variety of feeling from hatred to love, from admiration to rebellion. Men are attracted to the women able to rekindle in them the deep feelings from the past until he gets free from this past’s impact on his life. He can change the woman but always cope with the same conflict situation. The first impression a man has about a woman traces from the first person he knew in his life – his mother.
When you meet a man spoilt by his mother, you will notice that he hesitates to develop the relationship and to love, because in the depth of his soul he lives again that sensation of suffocation and lack of freedom. Unconsciously, the man always tends to marry a woman similar to the one his father married. In order to build up a wonderful relationship with your man and to manage with intelligence the past wounds, try to find out how his mum treated him in childhood.
Was she a woman that ignored or maybe spoilt him?
Discover the things he likes and hates about her. Did he experience sadness or joy in relation with his mom? The best way of keeping a well-balanced and nice relationship is to have the possibility of talking to his mom, thus you will know how to build up better relationship between the two of you, discovering the deepest and unsolved problems with your mother. Any man regardless of his strength and secure image remains in the depth of his soul a little abandoned boy desperately searching for his mom.
The truth is that even the most caring and attentive mom will never be able to satisfy all needs and expectations of her child. The mom who feeds him is the one who punishes him too. The child grows up into an ambiguous ambiance, bearing dual feelings of joy and anxiety in connection to his mother.
One day she is a Good mom, the other day she is a Bad mom. In such psychological circumstances, all inner deep conflicts connected to the relation with mom develop and they can later have an impact upon his woman too. If his mom is alive, ask him to see her. She can reveal to you a lot of things about him. In any culture, mother-in –law is always described as a monster character terrorizing the life of her daughter-in-law. Even if you do not like the things told by her, you can find out many things, noticing and studying carefully her manner of behavior.
Listen carefully to your instinct! You will certainly understand better how your man became who he is as well as the starting point of his needs and desires. You can succeed in many aspects by healing the old wounds derived from his initial relation with mother. Start spoiling your man. You can reach an effect similar to the reaction of child to his mom’s caresses. If you spoil him a little, do not be afraid that he becomes “mummy’s little spoilt boy”, thus you will get the opposite effect. When you support him in the moments he really needs it, you help him to become healthier and happier.
Each man is different and everybody expects different things at the chapter of caresses. If he is very cold person indeed, you can teach him how to get pleasure from touches. Make him a back massage, keep him tightly in your arms, whisper into his ear about something exciting you are going to make, tell him how much you love him, let him even cry if he needs it, calm down him when he feels bad. But be attentive, do not forget about reasonable borders. Every man adores to be in the center of attention and caring, but this does not imply suffocation and deprivation of his private space. Do not assault him each time, try keeping on the mysterious thread within the relationship.
Remember: any man wants to be free! Try to build up a balance between freedom and reasonable borders, independence and intimacy, dependence and autonomy, this represents the key of happy, long lasting and healthy love relationship. There are moments he wants to spend in loneliness, the moments into which he wants to open to open his soul, the moments he wants to get a little spoilt, and the ones he wants to stay alone. Notice his manner of behavior, trust your instinct, maybe you will find some things making him feel better in different circumstances. After a while, he will start missing you and he will return to you, if you make it clear that he is always welcome.
