This is your boyfriend? He’s just a friend!
A guy you’re sleeping with isn’t just a friend, he’s just a BFF. He only wants you as a BFF, but you’re secretly hoping it could work out. You’re not actually together, but you’re close. You enjoy his company, but you’re hoping for a chance at something more. You don’t want to admit that if you were to tell him you wanted a serious relationship, he’d disappear.
Even though you’re telling me, “I like having sex with him casually, I like being his BFF, I just like hanging out with him!” You’re lying to yourself! And you have no idea how much it’s affecting your love life. There are thousands of ways to lie in a relationship, but the worst way is to lie to yourself.
He tells you, “We’re just friends.” It’s so persuasive that you end up believing it too. But you know you’re lying. “We’re just friends” is the biggest lie. Don’t think he’ll change! Sometimes men do that too, but only if they want to.
Allowing a man to be who he is is called loving unconditionally. Many men will not lie to you. They may skirt around certain topics. What they do is let you lie to yourself.
Even if you tell him that you just want to be a friend with benefits, eventually it becomes too painful when he realizes that you are secretly trying to move from a friend with benefits to a real girlfriend.
Many women settle for a “Friend with Benefits” relationship because they think that he will commit to you. After a few months or even years, they are still just a friend with benefits.
You need to learn to recognize when you are lying to yourself! If he doesn’t want to commit and tells you that he is not in love even after months of dating, it is reason to change the situation.
The reason for not letting go of a friend with benefits is fear!
Fear that you will never find a man, fear that if you look back you will regret letting go of the man you had. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, but you have been dating a man for a long time who only sees you as a friend with benefits, you need to change the situation!
What to do when you have sex with a man who does not want to commit?
A good trick to change the rules is to drop key phrases into the conversation such as: “we can do together…, we can go together…, we are very close, we are good together.” You need to make him understand that for you, you are a real couple. If things still do not change, perhaps it is time to start playing some games. If he continues to live his single life, it is necessary to play with him a little.
One strategy is to make a man jealous.
You don’t have to sleep with another man, but make him understand that you are desired and receiving attention from another man. Make up one, you don’t have to go looking for him. Start dropping his name in conversations. You can attribute all the characteristics you want to him.
Try to talk about a man with a better job, who is more successful than your man. Say things like: “This guy keeps sending me messages that I can’t stand anymore.” This should set off alarm bells in his head. I suggest you have an imaginary man, you don’t have to cheat on him. This rival is nothing but a ghost. It always works to make a man jealous, it’s good for your relationship to make a man a little possessive sometimes.
Another strategy to win him over is to keep disappearing.
Because ignoring a man is powerful! Go on vacation without telling him. Suddenly become busier at work. If you have tried everything to get out of this friend zone of Bed and he continues to behave badly and treat you only as a friend who has sex, then use an ultimatum.
If he tells you that he is not sure about commitment, gives you excuses, then disappear from his life. Know that if you give him an ultimatum, you do not always get the answer you want. If he is in love he realizes that he needs you, if not, then for your well-being it is better to lose this man.
Don’t waste any more time! Remember, you are the one who is being chased by men, not the other way around. There is nothing harder than leaving a man you really like, it is even harder if you have had multiple orgasms. But you have to do it if you are dating the wrong man! If you are pretending to yourself, telling yourself that you have ended this friendship, but in reality you are still saving his place, then you will not attract a happy relationship.
To stop being a Friend with Benefits you need to start a process of understanding who you are and what you need in your love life. Being trapped in a Friend with Benefits, you risk falling into idealizing him: “I want to please him, I want to make myself indispensable and necessary, I want him to accept me. I think I love him because he makes me feel good in bed.”
In order not to lose him, many women beg him not to leave them, but they do not know that they are causing in him exactly what they want to avoid: satiety and lack of love.
